SW​:​S Retreat - October 26​-​28, 2012

by SongwritingWith:Soldiers

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    Includes high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.

    All purchases are tax-deductible donations to SongwritingWith:Soldiers. Our mission is to hold retreats that pair professional songwriters with military veterans to write songs about their experiences of combat and returning home.
    Participating military service members include Tamera Dillard, Josh Hartman, Scott McRae, Kelli Miller, Eustacio Obregon, Kim Obregon, Fatuma Salim-Shirazy, Jaime Santiago, and Nikki Shaw. These songs are their stories.

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Songwriters include Jay Clementi, Radney Foster and Darden Smith.

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released June 22, 2013

Thank you for your support of SongwritingWith:Soldiers.

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SongwritingWith:Soldiers Austin, Texas

Founded by Austin, Texas singer-songwriter Darden Smith, SongwritingWith:Soldiers is a non-profit 501c (3) organization. Our mission is to assist in the emotional healing process of both active duty U.S. soldiers and veterans through collaborative songwriting. ... more

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Track Name: The Soldier Game
THE SOLDIER GAME
Josh Hartman / Eustacio Juan Obregon / Scott McRae / Darden Smith, Radney Foster

I been Bosnia to Baghdad
To me they’re both the same
Spent half my life
In the soldier game
I’ve Tusla to New Orleans
I’ve walked so many streets
I’ve seen the hurt and hunger
In every face I meet

In the Soldier Game
In the Soldier Game

I didn’t do it for the money
Didn’t do it for the fame
I did it for the flag I wear
Defends my families name
I did it for my soldiers
I did for my friends
I did once before
And I’ll do it all again

The Soldier Game
I’m in the Soldier Game
I’m coming home
I’ll never be the same
From the Soldier Game

I been Gozny to Jalabad
Seen a lot of things
Seen my friends die
Felt the pain it brings
The IED it hit us
We were on patrol
The dust the black the hell broke loose
It shook me to my soul

In the Soldier Game
In the Soldier Game

The tears fell down
The squad stood still
I pulled the dog tag off his chain

It’s the Soldier Game
The Soldier Game
We lose so many
It’s a goddamn shame
It’s the Soldier Game
The Soldier Game
I’m coming home again
I’ll never be the same
From the Soldier Game
The Soldier Game
We march across that field
Coming home again
From the Soldier Game
The Soldier Game
The Soldier Game
Track Name: Calling Home
CALLING HOME
Eustacio and Kim Obregon / Jay Clementi / Radney Foster

Hey, Honey, it’s me
I can’t say where I am
But I’m alive and I’m OK
And before we’re disconnected I really need to say

I looked at our stars tonight
Said I love you and I said goodnight
Tomorrow I’m gonna say it all again
Miss you baby, kiss the kids
I don’t know where and I don’t know when
But I’m holding tight to the sound of your voice till then
While I’m gone I’m hanging on
To calling home

Do you know how much
I love the sound of your voice
It’s not long now, I’m counting days
I can’t wait till I hold you in these arms
And by the way

I looked at our stars tonight
Said I love you and I said goodnight
Tomorrow I’m gonna say it all again
Miss you baby, kiss the kids
I don’t know where and I don’t know when
But I’m holding tight to the sound of your voice till then
While I’m gone I’m hanging on
To calling home

Keep talking Baby till our time is through
Don’t dare say goodbye, I’ll call again soon

I don’t know where and I don’t know when
I’m gonna see you again
But I’m holding tight to the sound of your voice till then
While I’m gone I’m hanging on
To calling home
Track Name: Me Perdi
ME PERDI
Jaime Santiago / Radney Foster

I lost time with my family
Lost sleep when I laid down
I lost way too many friends for sure
Mostly I lost count

Perdi la cuenta de los dias
Tres anos de mi vida
Perdi los primeros cumpleanos
Cumpleanos de mi hija
Cosas que me mereci
Me perdi, Perdi

Still losing time with my family
Still losing too much sleep
Losing tears for no damn good reason
Can’t lose the memories I keep

Perdi la cuenta de los dias
Tres anos de mi vida
Perdi mis hermanos, mis amigos
Tiempo con mi querida
Cosas que me mereci
Perdi, Perdi, Me Perdi

Perdi la cuenta de los dias
Tres anos de mi vida
Perdi los primeros cumpleanos
Cumpleanos de mi hija
Cosas que me mereci
Me Perdi, Perdi
Track Name: Heavy Weapons
HEAVY WEAPONS
Scott McRae / Jay Clementi

I don't call home much anymore
I got to keep my game face on
That's the thing about this war
You do selfish things to stay strong
Cause every time I call her she puts a chink in my armor
Gotta keep my men alive they can't see weakness in my eyes
Cause there's always

Heavy weapons
Metal flying trying to send us to heaven
Tracers whistling in the dark
Hell bent on tearing my men apart
Gotta keep my head clear through it all
Gotta keep my eye on the ball
Everything that I know is threatened
By these heavy weapons

The last time I was home
She said some things to me
That made feel so damn alone
Brought me crying to my knees
To this family you’re a ghost she said to me and it was the most
Devastating thing I’ve heard she don't realize that her words
Are just like

Heavy weapons
Always in flying my direction
Like a tracers whistling in the dark
Hell bent on tearing me apart
It just don't make no sense at all
It's like she wants to see me fall
It may not be her intention
But her words are heavy weapons

I’ve been blown up I’ve been hurt
I’ve been bleeding face down in the dirt
Nothing crushed me more than when she walked out the door
Her aim was sharp
She took my heart hit me hard
Just like

Heavy weapons
Not caring what it's wrecking
Like a tracers whistling in the dark
It tore me all apart
It just don't make no sense it all
It's like she wanted to see me fall
It may not have been her intention
But when it comes to me
She's a heavy weapon
Track Name: The Dream
THE DREAM
Scott McRae / Darden Smith

The wife, the kids
The white picket fence
From where I come from
That’s what made sense
I did my time overseas
But I’m thinking maybe
It was what I saw when I came home
That made me so crazy

Losing the dream
Losing the dream
They didn’t tell me
About losing the dream

I went to war one man
Came home another
Loved the bottle
Just like a brother
Saw the white picket fence
Just disappear
I remember when my wife and my kids
Were still living here

I lost that dream
I lost that dream
The soldier, the father, the husband
American Dream

So I got dark I hit bottom
Saw I had to change my ways
Talk about nightmares brother I’ve got ‘em
But now I see brighter days
And I’m slowly rebuilding that old picket fence
The man I am now is finally starting to make sense

Of a new dream
Got a new dream
Now I believe
In a brand new dream

Got a new dream
Got a new dream
I know what it means to believe
In The Dream
Track Name: Can't Break Me Now
CAN'T BREAK ME NOW
Tamera Dillard / Kelli Miller / Darden Smith

I have been in battle
I have struggled most all my life
I’ve been broken I’ve been made whole
In my darkness I saw the light

You can’t break me now
You can’t shake me now
You can take me now
Cause I am not afraid
It’s like I’ve been born again
And after where I’ve been
Nothing, nothing can break me now

I’ve seen people hurt each other
We’ve all got hurt down inside
But I believe there must be some reason
And from this darkness we all can rise

You can’t break me now
You can’t shake me now
You can take me now
Cause I am not afraid
It’s like I’ve been born again
And after where I’ve been
Nothing, nothing can break me now

I don’t know where it comes from
I’ve always been this way
Where others might fall
I stand tall every day

You can’t break me now
You can’t shake me now
You can take me now
Cause I am not afraid
It’s like I’ve been born again
I am stronger now than I’ve ever been
Nothing can break me now
Track Name: Blackout
BLACKOUT
Nikki Shaw / Jay Clementi

It all started far from home
At night when I was all alone
Trying to dose off with my headphones on
Praying for a couple winks
But I just can't fall asleep
Those images are just too strong
God I wish I could
It would feel so dam good
To just

Black Out Black Out
A cold 24 pack to knock me out
Stop this dark and desperate dreaming
Peaceful sleep is all I'm finding
I just want to rack out but it kills me to say the only way
Is to Black Out Black Out

Now it's back to normal life
I can't forget the sacrifice
I'm at home but I'm still there
Everyday I play the game
But I know I'm not the same
My life is hanging on a prayer
I stop buy the six around five
At nine I'm feeling fine and by ten its time

Black Out Black out
A cold 24 pack to knock me out
Stop this dark and desperate dreaming
Peaceful sleep is all I'm finding
I just want to rack out but it kills me to say the only way
Is to Black Out Black Out

The only way I know
To let the darkness go
And rest my weary soul
Is to…

Black Out Black Out
With a cold 24 pack to knock me out
Stop this dark and desperate dreaming
Peaceful sleep is all I'm finding
I just want to rack out but it kills me to say the only way
Is to Black Out Black Out
I'm gonna
Black Out Black Out
I'm so Tired
I'm gonna Black Out
Track Name: Half Horse Town
HALF HORSE TOWN
Nikki Shaw / Radney Foster / Darden Smith

I joined the army from a Half Horse Town
Just cause I’m a girl don’t mean you’ll keep me down
I made a promise now I’m duty bound
Cause I’m that girl from a half horse town

Oh freedom
Don’t you know it ain’t free
If somebody’s gonna kick ass and take names
It might as well be me
No you can push around
This girl from a Half Horse Town

I signed my name and now my honor’s at stake
I believe in promises that you don’t break
When hell’s breaking loose and the walls are coming down
Stand behind the girl from the Half Horse Town
You can count on a girl from a Half Horse Town

My Mama’s worried
But my Daddy’s he’s so proud
I might be a girl, but boy I’m standing out in the crowd
My folks raised me not to back down
Always be that girl from the Half Horse Town

Oh freedom
Don’t you know it ain’t free
If somebody’s gonna kick ass and take names
It might as well be me
No, you can’t push around
You can’t ever keep down
This girl from a Half Horse Town
Track Name: I Had Wheels
I HAD WHEELS
Josh Hartman / Darden Smith / Jay Clementi

I was a skinny Mohawk punk
Flying on jack and coke and junk
Heaven was just an empty pool
Loved the danger loved the girls
Knew that I could wrestle down the world
Everytime I headed down to Santa Cruz

I had wheels
Click clacking down the sidewalk
I had wheels
If only that board could talk

I shaved my Mohawk nice and clean
On the day I turned 19
Put on a different uniform
Then my boots were on the ground
A dirty street in a foreign town
I was wishing through a Desert Storm

I had wheels
Click clacking on the sidewalk
I had wheels
My Chuck Taylor’s making them talk

How cool would that be
Nobody shooting at me
Skating under those cross sabers
Wind at my back
My boys at my side we could ride forever

I had wheels
Click clacking on the sidewalk
I had Wheels
My Chuck Taylor’s making them talk
I had wheels
If only that board could talk
I had wheels
Track Name: Why Not Me
WHY NOT ME
Fatuma Salim-Shirazy / Darden Smith

I am small but I’m strong
I can work all day and all night long
My shoulders carry so much
I have served so many others
And forgot to serve myself
Like my father and his father
Right down the line

I try to be quote unquote the best I could be
And if it’s alright for you
Why not me

If I only had a chance
I could show the world what I have to give
Don’t judge me by the way I talk or the clothes I wear
Muslim Hindu Christian Jew
Inside my own heart
You and I we’re all the same