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Winni Smith

I have a secret
Twenty-two years of military service
Signed in 1974
“Too young,” my Granny cried
“You know what they do to females?
You’re a hard-headed child, you’ll learn”
I had to escape…remembering my dreams I pushed forward
Looking back at midnight sessions drinking and cussing
While bright streetlights captured my suffering
But, instead of singing the blues, I transfused Army into Air Force

I have a secret
My military frat Sista
Blew her brains out with a .45 and bottle of Jack Daniels
Posed between her legs
My other military frat Sista
Went to sleep with an exhaust hose, while clouds of smoke
Eluded her mind
I remember cornbread from scratch with fatback and collard greens
Then as music drifted through speaker box
Marvin Gaye in background singing, “Let’s Get It On” with love

So why was I landing into a Hot Spot in Turkey
With my three babies, they wasn’t supposed to be here
That wasn’t on the paper I signed
So what the Hell am I doing here?
I asked my Commander, he said: “Need to know”
I found my American dream with my invisible husband
Uncle Sam
He always finds me in my dreams

That’s my secret
I can’t visualize in this haze, that hollow part of my chest hung up and empty
My secret


from SW​:​S Retreat - May 2​-​5, 2014, released May 15, 2014
SongwritingWith:Soldiers Music (ASCAP)


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Our Mission: We transform lives by using collaborative songwriting to expand creativity, connections, and strengths.

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