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SW​:​S Retreat October 2018

by SongwritingWith:Soldiers

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    Our retreats pair professional songwriters with veterans, military families and couples, and active-duty service members to write songs about their military experiences and returning home.

    The following veterans participated in the October 2018 retreat: Gregg Drozda, Michelle Glanville, Fabian Henry, Benjamin Kroger, Donald Navor, Tom Rankin, Jeramey Reamer, Allison Sage. Along with family members: Kathleen Cattrall, Juliane Nowe, Matt Kroger

    These songs are their stories from this retreat. These are songs recorded on site at retreats. They capture a song just hours after being written, like the song taking its first breath.
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1.
WHERE YOU FROM Tom Rankin / Don Navor / Fabian Henry / Jeramey Reamer / Michelle Glanville / Gregg Drozda / Allison Sage / Michael Bradford / Darden Smith Walking on water, you’re feeling so free Where you are ain’t where you used to be Where you from I want to know where you’re from Well you’re not where you’re going And the best is yet to come And the only way to get there is to know where you’re from Where you’re from Hard working people keep it inside Let’s take some chances Better learn how to cry Where you from I want to know where you're from Tossed in the river, baptized in pain But she was born as a sweet drop of rain Where you from Sister tell me where you’re from Well you’re not where you’re going And the best is yet to come But the only way to get there is to know where you’re from Where you from Well the past is the past is the past The future’s coming up fast You’re gonna get there somehow But what matters is the here and now Where you from Sleepless nights, had a fight Long-distance calls turning wrong into right Where you from Brother, sister where you from Headed to heaven, going through hell No destination, but I’m wishing you well Where you from Gotta know where you’re from Well you’re not where you’re going And the best is yet to come But the only way to get there is to know where you’re from Where you from Well the past is the past is the past The future’s coming up fast You’re gonna get there somehow But what matters is the here and now Where you from Where you from Where you from Where you from Where you from Gotta know where you’re from Won’t ya tell me where you’re from Ohh brother tell me where you’re from © 2018 SongwritingWith:Soldiers Music (ASCAP) / Chunky Style Music (ASCAP)
2.
San Antone 03:40
SAN ANTONE Gregg Drozda / Will Kimbrough You know they serve with honor And you know they serve with pride But you’ll never know the demons Some keep bottled up deep inside On a red eye bound for Denver, up from San Antone The flight wasn’t full, I figured I might get to sit alone When a soldier in desert camouflage came walking through the aisle I caught her eye, gave her a nod, greeted her with a smile I see by your insignia you’re with the 1st Cavalry Thank you for your service, I’d be honored if you’d join me Well she obliged, sat herself down and we began to talk Found out she was a medic, Afghanistan and Iraq I learned she was Native American, Pima from Arizona She was on emergency leave, I asked her where she was going She was on her way to Tacoma to deliver the eulogy At the funeral of her closest friend who died so tragically Her best friend was a Navajo, a combat medic too And she told me about their service, some of what they’d been through Tears welled up in her eyes as she fought to hold her emotions back As I learned about their tours, Afghanistan and Iraq With Christmas just mere weeks away, this loss takes a heavy toll There’s a daddy and two little ones she’ll try to console The soldier, the friend, the mom they knew, her husband’s loving wife What demons deep inside her made her take her own life? When you see them as you’re traveling, please tell them that you care Thank them for their service, maybe offer them a prayer If you know someone who’s haunted by demons from their war Please help them get the help they need So they won’t have to hurt no more You know they serve with honor And you know they serve with pride But you’ll never know the demons Some keep locked up deep inside Yeah ya never know the demons Some keep locked up deep inside © 2018 SongwritingWith:Soldiers Music (ASCAP) / Will Kimbrough Music (BMI)
3.
The Calling 04:30
THE CALLING Fabian Henry / Darden Smith Son of a miner, but they closed the mine Four generations but they broke the line I joined the army get a job, get out of town Learned to run and shoot and dive, I never felt so alive Give it all for my brothers to the left to the right Just like my father those years underground I could hear him saying son come home You don’t have to be alone In the calling in the darkness Find a better way Can you hear it, do not fear it The calling Easter Sunday it all went to hell Two men died that day and I’m here to tell It was partly my fault, the guilt took my spirit, took my soul I hit rock bottom thought I’d lost it all But in that moment, staring at the wall The shame, the anger, the drugs I just let it all go Santa Maria calling me home I knew I was not alone anymore She was calling in the darkness To show me a better way I could hear it, I did not fear it The calling So, when I’m triggered and I’m out of my mind Needing space, needing time Know that I’m just trying to rise above The pain that lingers still Cause I’m scared that it always will be here So, hold me, fold me in your love Know your voice guides me home Telling me I’m not alone I can hear you calling in the darkness I can see a better way I can hear it, I do not fear it When you’re calling in the darkness I see a better way I can hear it, I do not fear it The calling It’s the calling Oh I hear ya calling, calling, calling © 2018 SongwritingWith:Soldiers Music (ASCAP) / Darden Smith Music (ASCAP)
4.
Feel Again 03:51
FEEL AGAIN Allison Sage / Darden Smith I want to feel again Be real again I had it and I lost it somewhere along the road Let my spirit fly Open my heart wide Shine like the diamond down the core of my soul When will I feel again Afghanistan Beautiful land Mountains and the valleys, stars in the sky Felt so good The brotherhood Danger so close you could see it with the naked eye Came home just to see it vanish in the wind All I’d ever wanted was a family and a friend I want to feel again Be real again I had it and I lost it somewhere along the road Let my spirit fly Open my heart wide Shine like a diamond down the core of my soul When will I feel again When will I feel again I don’t trust no one After what was done Just when I was thinking that I’d found my way The tears I cry No matter how I try Take me right back to being betrayed I’m tired of the voices in my ear I just want to dream without falling from the fear I want to feel again Be real again I know I’m gonna find it somewhere along the road Where my spirit flies My heart opens wide And I shine like a diamond that’s always been deep my soul When I feel again When I feel again When I feel again © 2018 SongwritingWith:Soldiers Music (ASCAP) / Darden Smith Music (ASCAP)
5.
Broken Open 03:06
BROKEN OPEN Ben Kroger / Bonnie Bishop I didn’t do my time In Afghanistan So I believe the lie I was less a man Oh and I’ve lived my life Trapped inside my head I made the sacrifice Now I’m the walking dead Oooooh ooooh ooooh broken open Oooooh ooooh ooooh let the hope in Oooooh ooooh broken open Sometimes the truth Hits you like a truck It took cheating death Just to wake me up Now I’m a warrior Gimme a real fight Take me to the dark Let me shine a holy light Oooooh ooooh ooooh broken open Oooooh ooooh ooooh let the hope in Oooooh ooooh broken open Oh that’s a war so be sure that there’s more Than a rifle in your hand I believe I was freed so I can see What it means to be a man Oooooh ooooh ooooh broken open Oooooh ooooh ooooh let the hope in Oooooh ooooh baby I’m broken Oooooh ooooh ooooh broken open Oooooh ooooh ooooh broken open Oooooh ooooh ooooh let the hope in Oooooh ooooh Oh baby I’m broken, broken open Broken open © 2018 SongwritingWith:Soldiers Music (ASCAP) / Plan BB Music (BMI)
6.
I CAN’T SAVE YOU NOW Kathleen Cattrall and Bonnie Bishop It’s something we don’t talk about much The fear of not knowing when we’ll all be turned to dust I was there the day that those planes fell out of the sky You were miles away hanging on the line You were the one who’d been to war I’d never lived through anything like that before Seeing all those people running burning in the streets Now I know what fear really means You said, Babe I can’t save you now I can only tell you how Keep your boots on the ground Just keep moving south You’re gonna make it out somehow But I can’t save you now You’ll never know how much that you can take Till one day the world decided to test my strength All along I had all the courage that I need Your words cut through the chaos around me You said, Babe I can’t save you now Oh I can only tell you how Keep your boots on the ground Just keep moving south You’re gonna make it out somehow Oh but I can’t save you now But in the end we all die alone But the reason I’m alive is your voice on the phone You said babe I can’t save you now Oh I can only tell you how Just keep your boots on the ground Just keep moving south You’re going to make it out somehow But I can’t save you now Nooooo gotta save yourself tonight It is something we don’t talk about much © 2018 SongwritingWith:Soldiers Music (ASCAP) / Plan BB Music (BMI)
7.
ALL FIVE REASONS Michelle Glanville / Bonnie Bishop There’s five good reasons that I’m still alive One’s sixteen and he’s just learning how to drive The day he was born it was raining outside My handsome boy pushed the sun through the sky Hush little baby and don’t you cry Mama’s still here she just wishes she could fly Cause Jesus was waiting on the other side of light He’s holding my hand but it’s not my time My oldest was born when I turned twenty-five It was hard to believe in the beauty of life Cause war leaves you demons that never go away She gave me hope and a reason to stay Hush little baby and don’t you cry Mama’s still here she just wishes she could fly Jesus was waiting on the other side of light He’s holding my hand but it’s not my time My second to oldest has learned how to stray He won’t choose war, he won’t turn out this way He still stops by I see that beautiful smile Someday I hope he’ll stay for a while Hush little baby and don’t you cry Mama’s still here she just wishes she could fly Jesus is waiting on the other side of light He’s holding my hand but it’s not my time It’s been two years ago was the last time I tried My son walked in on me and begged me not to die He was the one who was always full of joy Now I carry the shame of what I stole from that boy Hush little baby and don’t you cry Mama’s still here she just wishes she could fly Jesus was waiting on the other side of light He’s holding my hand but it’s not my time One last good reason my sweet baby girl She summers breeze in my dark crazy world All five angels keep my boots on the ground They’re God’s plan for keeping me around Hush little baby and don’t you cry Mama’s still here she just thought she could fly Jesus is waiting on the other side of light He’s holding my hand but it’s not my time He’s holding my hand but it’s not my time © 2018 SongwritingWith:Soldiers Music (ASCAP) / Plan BB Music (BMI)
8.
Is It Mine 04:21
IS IT MINE Jeramey Reamer / Michael Bradford Lightning flash across the sky Terrifies the child inside Something happens in the mind And everything has changed Lightning helping us to see The cracks and the infirmities And all the things that we believe Will never be the same The lesson that I’m told The baggage that I hold Is it mine Or am I just reciting lines An author who is unidentified Pre-ordained Or something that might fade away Is it what we’re sold or what we find Is it mine Following a crowd That only makes their voices loud The fall that waits before the proud The blind don’t know they're blind Have we truly seen The golden age of destiny Or is it only alchemy Forever in our mind Before it’s laid to rest Does it stand the test Is it mine Or am I just reciting lines An author who is unidentified Pre-ordained Or something that might fade away Is it what we’re sold or what we find Is it mine Before it’s laid to rest Does it stand the test Is it mine Or am I just reciting lines An author who is unidentified Pre-ordained Or something that might fade away Is it what we’re sold or what we find Is it mine Or am I just reciting lines Is it what we’re sold or what we find Is it mine © 2018 SongwritingWith:Soldiers Music (ASCAP) / Chunky Style Music (ASCAP)
9.
El Camino 04:02
EL CAMINO Don Navor / Michael Bradford I am my father’s son I’m not the only one There’s a million more like me We do what we have to do With no one asking you We take responsibility But the world has other plans And fate steps in to tie our hands The picture that we painted Blows away like grains of sand 100 miles down the El Camino Sure didn’t look like rain I heard the voice of the campesino I still can’t explain I was trapped inside a dream High above the fields of green But it’s all a game I gotta crash this plane In the field of reality So I’ll be free Every night I go To the same old movie show I get the same seat every time The show I want to see Is not what’s on the screen It’s the nightmare of a life The projector’s locked away The program’s got to change today I’m gonna burn this theatre down There’s no future in this town 100 miles down the El Camino... Sure didn’t look like rain I heard the voice of the campesino I still can’t explain I was trapped inside a dream High above the fields of green But it’s all a game I gotta crash this plane In the field of reality So I’ll be free Who’s to know what might have been While carrying the whole world’s sin The man inside the glass Is the one you cheat at last And I’m 100 miles down the El Camino Sure didn’t look like rain I heard the voice of the campesino I still can’t explain I was trapped inside a dream High above the fields of green But it’s all a game I gotta crash this plane In the field of reality So I’ll be free © 2018 SongwritingWith:Soldiers Music (ASCAP) / Chunky Style Music (ASCAP)
10.
I AM MY BROTHER’S KEEPER Ben Kroger / Matt Kroger / Will Kimbrough Born in the valley of the shadow All my life I was running from ghosts So wearied by the sins of the father So weary from running alone yeah I met another man on the journey A warrior on a mission like mine I was played out like him Our boots were worn thin But together we found new fire I pray you’ll find the wisdom to know what to leave behind I’ll be strength for now to carry the weight that you can’t put down I am my brother’s keeper So now we can laugh at the darkness At last we are warriors of light The sins are replaced by the gifts of the father We’re looking for souls to untie I pray we’ll find the wisdom to know what to leave behind I’ll be strength for now to carry the weight that you can’t put down I am my brother’s keeper I pray we’ll find the wisdom to know what to leave behind You’ll be strength for me now To carry the weight that I can’t put down I pray we’ll find the wisdom to know what to leave behind You’ll be strength for me now To carry the weight that I can’t put down I am my brother’s keeper I am my brother’s keeper I am my brother’s keeper I am my brother’s keeper © 2018 SongwritingWith:Soldiers Music (ASCAP) / Will Kimbrough Music (BMI)
11.
BIG OLE WILLOW TREE Tom Rankin / Will Kimbrough How long, how long, how long I realize How long it’s gonna take for me to know What I done is gone That’s pain and sorrow’s song How long before I find a place to be I done the best I could Done all that I should But the man he come and took some parts away I used to be so whole Been robbed some of my soul Harder now for me to fun and play Oh Lord these reflections Why you do these things Something weren’t in balance Losing of my friends My brothers they be gone now To where believe I see Right where they belong That big ole willow tree That big ole willow tree That big ole willow tree Take me to that special place Don’t cry too much for me Gather up my bones Finally let me free Take me to that special place That big ole willow tree I’ve knuckled down but buckled This load has been mine Got turned around and lost In an empty space of time I’ve walked upon the water Or where it used to be I found what I was looking for That big ole willow tree That big ole willow tree That big ole willow tree Take me to that special place Don’t cry too much for me Gather up my bones Finally let me free Take me to that special place That big ole willow tree Take me to that special place That big ole willow tree © 2018 SongwritingWith:Soldiers Music (ASCAP) / Will Kimbrough Music (BMI)
12.
I GOT AN IDEA Kathleen Cattrall / Gregg Drozda / Michelle Glanville / Fabian Henry / Benjamin Kroger / Donald Navor / Tom Rankin / Jeramey Reamer / Allison Sage / Darden Smith I got an Idea I got something to say I got an Idea and I want to say it in a brand new way Hey hey, hey hey There’s a kid on a tire swing Happy and innocent and free Not so many expectations it’s just beautiful to be I got an Idea I got something to say I got an Idea and I want to say it in a brand new way Hey hey, hey hey Hey hey hey hey I got this movie in my head It dark and it makes me sad Then it comes on like a monsoon and just like that it’s making me laugh I got an Idea I got something to say I got an Idea and I want to say it in a brand new way Hey hey, hey hey Hey hey hey hey Hey hey hey hey Hey hey hey hey Then I’m riding away It hurts sometimes and then I get lost in the melody And I can feel again Cause I got an Idea I got something to say I got an Idea and I want to say it in a brand new way Yeah I got an Idea I got something to say I got an Idea and I want to say it in a brand new way Hey hey,hey hey Hey hey hey hey Hey hey hey hey Hey hey hey hey Hey hey hey hey © 2018 SongwritingWith:Soldiers Music (ASCAP) / Darden Smith Music (ASCAP)

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released November 11, 2018

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SongwritingWith:Soldiers Nashville, Tennessee

SongwritingWith:Soldiers is a non-profit 501c (3) organization.

Our Mission: We transform lives by using collaborative songwriting to expand creativity, connections, and strengths.

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