SW​:​S Retreat November CO 2017

by SongwritingWith:Soldiers

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All purchases are tax-deductible donations to SongwritingWith:Soldiers.
Our retreats pair professional songwriters with veterans, military families and couples, and active-duty service members to write songs about their military experiences and returning home. David Brower, Rachel Kennon, Clayton McJunkins, Robb Robichaud, Roseann Robichaud, Tara Smith, Emily Yates participated in the November 2017 Heart-J Center Loveland CO retreat. These songs are their stories.

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released January 13, 2018

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SongwritingWith:Soldiers Austin, Texas

Founded by Austin, Texas singer-songwriter Darden Smith and Mary Judd, SongwritingWith:Soldiers is a non-profit 501c (3) organization.

Our Mission: We transform lives by using collaborative songwriting to expand creativity, connections, and strengths.
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Track Name: IN BOTH OF OUR BEDS
Roseann Robichaud / Mary Gauthier

Kansas City nineteen sixty eight
I was a farmer’s daughter on the road alone
I knew I had to go, and so I went
I was nineteen and out there on my own

Big brown eyes, a Kennedy smile
My whole life changed when he walked in the room
My sweetheart my first and only love
From the first time I saw him I knew

But the enemy visits us at night
When he screams in his room it makes me cry
There’s an enemy embedded in his head
The war lives on in both of our beds

He signed up for Nam in sixty-eight
He thought his bars and wings would keep us safe
He came home with the fifty-yard stare
The flyboy that I fell for wasn’t there

And the enemy visits us at night
When he screams in his room it makes me cry
There’s an enemy embedded in his head
The war lives on in both of our beds

You’d think after 50 years it would recede
After all that time there’d be no more blood to bleed
You’d think there’d be no more tears to cry
But the enemy still visits us at night

Yeah the enemy visits us at night
When he screams in his room it makes me cry
There’s an enemy embedded in his head
And the war lives on in both of our beds

Mary Gauthier Songs (ASCAP) / SongwritingWith:Soldiers Music (ASCAP)
Track Name: I’M STILL HERE
Tara Smith / Jay Clementi

I see the beauty in the sun peaking through the trees
I’m taking in the little things
And I’m thankful—

High above the ocean with the wind blowing through my hair
It won’t erase what happened there
and I’m grateful

I love my life and I want to keep it
It took feeling my smile again to see it

Just to think, that I could have missed this
Could have let my light burn out
And take all of my love with it
Just to think I could have died with all my wishes
Riding horses on a beach,
Wrapped in fairy tale kisses
I climbed that Mountain of fear
And I’m still here I’m still here

Since I was a child I’ve been trying to find me
Sifting through the broken branches
Of my family tree

I made new brothers in the land of the burning sand
lost em all again
and fell into to lonely

But I trust this golden road I’m going down
And I know that it’s the way home now

Just to think, that I could have missed this
Could have let my light burn out
And take all of my love with it
Just to think I could have died with all my wishes
Riding horses on a beach,
Wrapped in fairy tale kisses
I climbed that Mountain of fear
And I’m still here I’m still here

Just to think, that I could have missed this
Could have let my light burn out
And take all of my love with it
Just to think I could have died with all my wishes
Riding horses on a beach,
Somewhere wrapped in fairy tale kisses
I climbed that Mountain of fear
I conquered that mountain of fear
And I’m still here I’m still here
Oh I’m still here I’m still here

Sony ATV Cross Keys (ASCAP) / SongwritingWith:Soldiers Music (ASCAP)
Track Name: LIFE AFTER THE WAR
Robb Robichaud / Darden Smith

Hey there brother, I see you’re face
I can tell you’ve been in some other place
Well just between us, welcome back home
I bet you’re feeling a little lost and alone
Most of your family, maybe some of your friends
Wish you would be like you were back when
They might want to hear some stories, raise a toast
But they don’t want to give you what you need the most

But you’re ok
You’ve just come so far
We’re all living
Life after the war

Hey there sister, I know you’ve seen some bad things
Night comes round, I know what that brings
They got a little name for it, PTSD
I got it too, you’re just like me

You’re gonna be ok
You’ve just come so far
We’re all living
Life after the war

Don’t go to the bottle, don’t go to the meds
That ain't gonna help the demon in your head
Lean on your brothers, to get what you need
Lean on your sisters, and lean on me

We’re gonna be ok
We’ve just come so far
We got to keep living
After the war
We got to keep living
After the war

Darden Smith Music (ASCAP) / SongwritingWith:Soldiers Music (ASCAP)
Track Name: MY BOTHERS SISTERS AND ME
Robb Robichaud / Mary Gautheir

I have to deal with my demons
So I built a vault in my brain
I don’t wanna release them
I don’t wanna explain

My demons recede in the daytime
Sometimes I think they are gone
But at night they howl and they haunt me
Chase me till sunup at dawn

There are two types of scars people carry
I’ve got the kind you can’t see
We fight a mental battle
My bothers my sisters and me

The scars of war never leave you
The scars of war they remain
We carry the war deep inside us
Coming home we’re not the same

We might look perfectly healthy
We smile and we play the game
We hide the truth of our feelings
We hide the truth of our pain

There are two types of scars people carry
I’ve got the kind you can’t see
We fight a mental battle
My bothers sisters and me

Mary Gauthier Songs (ASCAP) / SongwritingWith:Soldiers Music (ASCAP)
Track Name: THIS IS NOT YOUR BURDEN
Clay McJunkins / Darden Smith

Sometimes in the nighttime I cannot fall asleep
Laying right there with you I cannot help but think
Of camel spiders, mortar fire and moon dust everywhere
I’m here but there’s a part of me that’s over there
In the hours we have lost
I can see the cost

This is not your burden
Trying to heal all of my hurt’n
It all happened well before you
Well before our time
But if you stand beside me
With your hand to guide me
I’ll put down the pain inside me
And I will find
My peace of mind

I know you got your story, know that you’ve been hurt
So I don’t really talk about my time in the dirt
I want to keep you safe, don’t want to wound your heart
I know that you would cover me, if I was in the dark
Because you are that strong
If it takes our whole life long, but

This is not your burden
You’re trying to heal all of my hurting
It all happened well before you
And well before our time
But if you stand beside me
With your hand to guide me
I’ll put down the pain inside me
I will find
My peace of mind

Time heals
Love heals
Patience is all that I need, cause…
This is not your burden
You can’t heal all of my hurting
It all happened well before you
And well before our time
But if you’ll stand beside me
With your hand to guide me
I’ll put down the pain inside me
I will find
My peace of mind
My peace of mind

Darden Smith Music (ASCAP) / SongwritingWith:Soldiers Music (ASCAP)
Track Name: WE ARE NOT THE WAR
Emily Yates / Darden Smith

I’m on a highway
A highway so long
Thinking about Dylan
Singing these songs
Chimes of Freedom
Blood on the Tracks
Thought I left the war behind
But I brought it back

I can’t right the wrongs
Unknow the lies
Can’t untell the story
Can’t close my eyes
There’s so many like me
Under these skies
Who just can’t help thinking
We weren’t the good guys

We’re not the uniform
We’re not the mission
We’re not the rank we wore
We’re not ammunition
Strip off the story
See who we are
We might be in battle
But we’re not the war

So come sisters and brothers
Let’s open our arms
Make a safe haven
To keep us from harm
There we can gather
There we begin
Start loving ourselves
Forgive all our sins

We’re not the uniform
We’re not the mission
We’re not the rank we wore
We’re not ammunition
Strip off the story
See who we are
We might be in battle
But we’re not the war

We’re not the uniform
We’re not the mission
We’re not the rank we wore
We’re not ammunition
Strip off the story
See who we are
We might be in battle
But we are not the war

Darden Smith Music (ASCAP) / SongwritingWith:Soldiers Music (ASCAP)
Track Name: WHAT WE MIGHT'VE BEEN
Rachel Kennon / JD Martin

I miss you I hate you
Though that’s hard to say
I stay awake most every night
Wondering why you couldn’t stay
I feel so cheated by that secret love
You turned to again and again
I just can’t stop thinking about
What we might’ve been

I still listen to your beautiful voice
So many memories in the sound
My timid little soldier
No one’s going to hurt you now
Your battle is over
Mine is one I can’t seem to win
I just can’t stop thinking about
What we might’ve been

I love the stories you made up
Just to make me laugh
You made me feel I was the only one
The first and the last
I wonder why you couldn’t care for yourself
The way you cared for your friends
I just can’t stop thinking about
What we might’ve been

Your battle is over
Mine is one I can’t seem to win
No I just can’t stop thinking about
What we might’ve been

I miss you

Gill ’n’ Goldie Music / SongwritingWith:Soldiers Music (ASCAP)
Track Name: HE AIN'T THROUGH WITH ME YET
David Brower / Jay Clementi / JD Martin

I spent three years on the ocean
In diesel submarine
In that sea of emotion
I saw things that I can’t unsee
I had so many close calls
In the thick of it all
I said my fair share of prayers

I guess he needs me more down here
Gave me nothing to fear
Ain’t no mistakin’
Let me make it perfectly clear
There’s a bigger plan
That I don’t always get
Naw he ain’t through with me yet
Naw he ain’t through with me yet

Doctors said I’m a sick man
They just can’t be wrong
I lifted up my eyes to heaven
And started listening to a different song
I thought sooner than later
I would meet my maker
Singing bass in the heavenly band

I guess he needs me more down here
Gave me nothing to fear
Ain’t no mistakin’
Let me make it perfectly clear
There’s a bigger plan
That I don’t always get
Naw he ain’t through with me yet
Naw he ain’t through with me yet

My baby changed my attitude
Filled my heart with gratitude
And faith and love
Yeah love sweet love

Glad he needs me more down here
Gave me nothing to fear
Ain’t no mistakin’
Let me make it perfectly clear
There’s a bigger plan
That I don’t always get
Awe he ain’t through with me yet
He ain’t through with me yet
Naw he ain’t through with me yet
He ain’t through with me yet
Awe he ain’t through with me yet

Sony ATV Cross Keys (ASCAP) / Gill ’n’ Goldie Music / SongwritingWith:Soldiers Music (ASCAP)
Track Name: I KNOW BETTER THAN TO VOLUNTEER
Darden Smith / Group

I know better than to volunteer
That’s the kind of thinking that got me here
Now I sit around and drink too much beer
I know better than to volunteer
I know better than to volunteer

I just wanted to get out of town
Go see the world and write it down
I found a new family we went through the dust
But the people there didn’t like us
Yeah the people there didn’t like us

I know better than to volunteer
That’s the kind of thinking that got me here
Now I sit around and drink too much beer
I know better than to volunteer
I know better than to volunteer

It’s not all that it’s cracked up to be
I’m volun-told government property
But I learned a few things about me
I’m stronger then even I could see
I’m stronger then even I could see

I think about tomorrow and way back then
It’s not about me it was all about them
It’s not about me it still about them

I know better than to volunteer
Yeah that’s the kind of thinking that got me here
Now I sit around and drink too much beer
Yeah I know better than to volunteer
I know better than to volunteer
I know better than to volunteer
I know better than to volunteer
I know better than to volunteer

Darden Smith Music (ASCAP) / SongwritingWith:Soldiers Music (ASCAP)

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