SW​:​S Retreat - January 23, 2014

by SongwritingWith:Soldiers

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    All purchases are tax-deductible donations to SongwritingWith:Soldiers. Our mission is to hold retreats that pair professional songwriters with military veterans to write songs about their experiences of combat and returning home.
    Participating military service members include Frank Acevedo, Curtis Campbell, Mario Candela, Jesse Hopkin II, Erminio (Manny) Orona, Jimmy Perez, Jerryl Rita, John Sweredoski, and Raul Villanueva Jr.
    These songs are their stories and are recorded on site at retreats. They capture a song just hours after being written, like the song taking its first breath.
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1.
Numb 03:34
NUMB Jesse Hopkin / John Sweredoski / Darden Smith Numb, I’m so numb From what I’ve done And what I’ve seen Cold, the nights are so cold The days are dark As dark can be I’ve seen too much I gave too much Can’t you see I’m on my knees My heart still beats My eyes still see But when my mouth starts to speak The words don’t come Cause I’m numb Something took hold Of my soul And left it lying cold on the battlefield But high I’ve never felt so high And I’ve been chasing that high ever since my first kill And I lost so much I miss so much The big part of me that I left overseas Am I chasing my demons Are my demons chasing me How far am I willing to run How long am I willing to be numb
2.
PLEASE DON'T LET ME... Curt Campbell / Mario Candela / Manny Orona / Radney Foster In the dark of the night, in the fog of war It doesn’t really matter what we’re doing this for Your buddy on your left and the one on your right They’re just like you, when you get on line The same prayer’s in every one of us Dear God, please don’t let me fuck this up We all got our reasons why we’re here We can’t quit our jobs till it’s all clear We all want to get home to the ones we love Dear God, please don’t let me fuck this up (Don’t let me fuck this up) I wish I could swim, to the bottom of the sea To get my friend, lying there asleep Cause he’s down there, and I’m still here Chasing down what-ifs Through all these tears We both had the same prayer inside of us Dear God, please don’t let me fuck this up We lost Paul and we lost Smitty We lost Rich and too damn many We all got our reasons why we’re here We can’t quit our jobs till it’s all clear All we wanted was to come home to the ones we love Prayin’ Dear God, please don’t let me fuck this up (Don’t let me fuck this up)
3.
Call Of Duty 03:03
CALL OF DUTY Frank Acevedo / Jimmy Perez / Darden Smith / Brad Parker Come a day when the cold wind blew No one told me but I knew Mama smiled as I walked out the door She said, “Thank you for your service – That’s what we’re here for” Call of duty It’s strong and it’s true I got no expectations It’s just what I do The call of duty Comin’ home from the sands of Iraq My little angel was callin’ me back Saluted the colonel, said I’m goin’ AWOL for awhile My wife needs me, we just lost a child Call of duty It’s strong and it’s true I got no expectations It’s just what I do The call of duty Family and country, country and family It’s all the same to me – it’s the... Call of duty It’s strong and it’s true I got no expectations It’s just what I do The call of duty
4.
NO ME PREGUNTES Mario Candela / Erminio (Manny) Orona / Jimmy Perez / Radney Foster No me preguntes nada Nada de la guerra No me preguntes que paso No quiero decirte mentiras You can never know the truth About how it really was All those memories never leave me They are part of who I’ve become No me preguntes nada Nada de la guerra No me preguntes que paso No quiero decirte mentiras I didn’t know what would happen We all walked into it blind I don’t ever lose the memories Of amigos that I left behind Don’t ask me anything Anything about the war Don’t ask about what happened I don’t want to lie anymore No me preguntes nada Nada de la guerra No me preguntes que paso No quiero decirte mentiras
5.
I SLEPT WITH MY GUN Curt Campbell / Mario Candela / Manny Orona / Radney Foster t made me feel safe, it made me feel warm Like my old teddy bear I slept with my gun I’d fire up a flare, to make sure we’re alone Dug my hole a little deeper And slept with my gun Dreaming through that scope I prayed they’d leave me alone I couldn’t help wondering if I’d ever make it back home One good night’s sleep is all I really ever wanted I slept with my gun I slept with my gun When I got back The whole world had changed I ran my girl off... all I had left was my gun Dreaming through that scope It never leaves me alone Still wondering if I’d ever make it back home One good night’s sleep was all I ever really wanted I slept with my gun I slept with my gun Now I don’t keep it under my pillow Because the danger’s never gone It’s somewhere disassembled Cause I’ve stripped it to the bone I don’t sleep with my gun I don’t sleep with my gun Dreaming through that scope It never leaves me alone Sometimes I still wonder if I made it home One good night’s sleep is all I ever really wanted I don’t sleep with my gun
6.
I'll Be Fine 02:40
I'LL BE FINE Frank Acevedo / Jimmy Perez / Brad Parker Walkin’ out the gate Of my very last base No parades, no banners Just get out of this place On military time We worked as a team Now I’m back on the street Gotta find my own dream I wanted to go home But you can’t go back in time So you go your way, I’ll go mine Don’t worry ‘bout me cause I’ll be fine Everybody says that You have changed Well, what did I expect? Man, this sure seems strange I see you over there Out across the plain But I can’t catch up And I can’t explain I wanted to go home But you can’t go back in time So you go your way, I’ll go mine Don’t worry ‘bout me cause I’ll be fine Now, I realize, I don’t need the past Let’s work together on the things that last...
7.
TRACK OF TIME Jesse Hopkin / Jerryl Rita / Raul Villanueva / Darden Smith When I was out to sea Without my family Sometimes I’d go a week And never the sun What day was it anyway Tuesday or Wednesday Clock on the wall don’t mean Nothing at all to me The rotors on the helo go round and round The sound of the planes so goddamn loud Don’t think, just do, it’s only later I find I’m losing the track of time Bloody boots kicking in doors Another brother hits the floor We gotta keep moving No time to say goodbye to you It was only when I got back home It was midnight I was all alone It all came back and I can’t deny What’s true, I’m missing you Put the pen on the paper and I fill up the page Tears start coming cause I’m still in a rage I don’t think I just do and I can’t deny the sign I’ve lost the track of time I thought when I came Home it would be the same But while I was gone Everything changed Babies get born, families get torn And I wonder what I was fighting for And I wonder if I’m gonna spend the rest of my life trying to find The track of time
8.
THE ONES I LOVE Jesse Hopkin / Jerryl Rita / John Sweredoski / Darden Smith I feared of the night I feared of the light Still I always ran to the fight I feared of the dark I feared of the mark That somehow I wasn’t enough I feared of the snap Of the bullet gone past But back home I fear the bullets On the street every time My kids walk out the door But the greatest fear inside of me Is losing the ones I love I feared IEDs Snipers in the trees Knowing what it really means to be free I feared coming back home Feel so alone Cause no one knows what it means to be me Cause every firefight Every man in my sights Took a little part of me And all I’ve got left now Are my wife and my kids Cause the greatest fear inside of me Is losing the ones I love When nothing makes sense I see the innocence In their eyes And I realize I want to come home I just want to come home And the greatest fear inside of me Is losing the ones I love And I might just be one of the ones I love I don’t want to lose the one I love
9.
I Need Rain 02:42
I NEED RAIN Curtis Campbell / John Sweredoski / Brad Parker I woke up dreamin’ this mornin’ Maybe these pills are making me crazy If the weather is up or the weather is down Hey, I’m a farmer and I can’t be lazy I might be crazy, I might be insane But I need rain The waterman’s bill is due But if the crops don’t grow I ain’t makin’ no green I got broccoli, cauliflower, carrots and kale And nothin’s gonna stop me from livin’ this dream I might be crazy but I’m not insane And I need rain I need rain I need rain I need rain I need rain I might be crazy but I’m not insane And I need rain
10.
Wrong Door 02:25
WRONG DOOR Darden Smith & Group You took what was mine I’d had it a long time It was my baby I missed the sounds we made together There’s an itch I cannot scratch Cause I can’t get it back I know you did it I’m knocking on your door I want to knock you to the floor I’ve been here before And I’m thinking what if I’m knocking on the wrong door I see who you are And you look just like me It’s breaking my heart I came from where you are I’m looking at myself And I can see what’s true Just give me my rig I’m willing to forgive I know how hard it is to live I’ve been here before I’m looking at myself Standing outside your door

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Songwriters include Radney Foster, Brad Parker, and Darden Smith.

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released May 16, 2014

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SongwritingWith:Soldiers Nashville, Tennessee

SongwritingWith:Soldiers is a non-profit 501c (3) organization.

Our Mission: We transform lives by using collaborative songwriting to expand creativity, connections, and strengths.

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